Into the Woods (Season Finale)

Season 20, Episode 83

First aired 9 June 2016

It’s the season finale of Ros na Rún and AIIIEEEE it’s insane, so let’s get right to it. We open with Bobbi-Lee storming into the Holiday House of Horrors and laying into Andy for disappearing yesterday and scaring her and Berni half to death. So by my calculations, if he scares Berni like that one more time, the village will be a much more pleasant place. His defense is that he went for a walk because he needed some air, plus somebody needed to bury Suzanne’s body in the garden and Mo’s stellar work crew of Mack, John Joe, and David wasn’t available. Bobbi-Lee is suspicious that he needed to go get some air at Suzanne’s house, what with it being a super-sexy love nest and all, but he assures her that Suzanne is “gone” (snerk), so Bobbi-Lee and her leopard print look pleased with themselves. Before they can do a victory lap, however, Andy reminds her that they still need a huge amount of money to go to Las Vegas for his “treatment” (i.e., playing keno and strangling hookers), so Bobbi-Lee tells him she has an idea. Well, that’s never a good sign.

Back in the CSI: Caitríona storyline we barely care about, she’s complaining to Niamh that Berni has ruined everything by letting Andy loose in the village to scare Colm away. The only time I agree with Caitríona is when she’s bitching about Berni. Niamh, who looks completely bored by all this, says she should just call Colm and explain what happened, but Caitríona explains that she’s tried, but he’s not answering his phone. (People in prison have their own phones?) Niamh, who is suddenly a super-detective, assures her that there’s more than one way to skin a cat, and the two of them set off for the old mill in the Mystery Machine, where they will discover that Colm is actually a film projector showing an image of a ghost, and he would’ve gotten away with it if not for these meddling kids. Caitríona will be devastated when she discovers that she’s frumpy Velma in this scenario, not glamorous Daphne.

Garbage Vodka, A Sexy Worm Attack, and Oh Yeah, A Murder

Season 20, Episode 82

First aired 7 June 2016

We’re back! As you may or may not have noticed, Ros na Recaps has been on a little break for the past 3 weeks while I was away at advanced recapping academy, i.e., on vacation in the South Pacific. Originally I had great plans to catch up on the 4 episodes I missed when I got back, but that was overly ambitious, and then I missed 2 more, so I’ll recap the highlights of those 6 episodes here:

• Andy and Bobbi-Lee are doing it, ewwww.
• Máire swooned and threatened to faint a lot.
• Fia moved out and got her own place, which we assume she is paying for using the money she earns … uhh … hmm … well, Fia unceremoniously went away, and that’s the important thing.
• Mo punched Andy in the face and again in the stomach, and it was glorious, and I called her MOhammad Ali on Twitter, and then he died two days later, so we will consider it a preemptive tribute.
• Long-lost Uncle Peatsai, whose name is hard to type and therefore I am going to call Uncle Pest, returned from across the pond to stake his claim to Mo’s new house, so now they are Odd Couple-ing it up. Also, he came back from America with a wardrobe consisting entirely of Hawaiian shirts, because that is what we all wear here all the time.
• Andy decided John Joe was getting too cozy with Bobbi-Lee and jumped him from behind at the petrol station or hardware store or chip van or wherever John Joe works.
• Best of all, Gráinne’s boyfriend showed up, and he was, hilariously, David Mk 2. It was like she was shopping at Amazon.com and put David in her basket, and it pointed out that other shoppers who bought David also bought Other David, so she should, too. Eventually she broke up with Other David and he went back where he came from, but on the plus side, she kept the streak going of women on this show who move to faraway places and then manage to hook up with the only Irish-speaking man there (Australia, London, Venus, etc).

OK, now for today’s episode, which is a corker! We open with Bobbi-Lee and Andy discussing ways they can get the money to pay for the miraculous cure for African Hydraulic Fever he heard about, which is only available in Las Vegas, which as we all know is a hotbed of cutting-edge medical research. Also, you can smoke while being operated on and your loved ones can play blackjack in the waiting room. As you may recall, Bobbi-Lee is intrigued by this scam scheme, which of course she hasn’t asked any questions about or investigated at all, because she stupidly wants Andy to get better and also figures Vegas has always been her destiny anyway. It really is a good match for her, given that Nevada’s state flag is cheetah print with rhinestones. Anyway, she suggests they ask Berni for the money, but he mock protests that he’s caused Berni enough problems over the years already, and anyway, she hasn’t received Cathal’s inheritance yet, so it’s a bit premature to decide how they’re going to murder her right now. I mean, ask her for money. After Bobbi-Lee leaves to go to stare into space and insult the customers at one of her jobs, Andy gets a phone call, and tells the person on the other end that he can’t talk right now, but that he’ll go murder meet him/her later this afternoon.